A Christmas pep talk

Automatically generated from the audio, so it may not be perfectly word-for-word.

Hi, welcome to the PTA Podcast. My name is Yvonne and I've been a PTA volunteer for a few years now. But I'm just one of thousands of volunteers up and down the country who all want to make a difference to their schools. PTAs are becoming even more crucial in UK schools to boost budget, and I find it fascinating to talk to other volunteers about the different approaches they take. So please join me in this podcast to share information, generate ideas, debate issues, and celebrate success. And I hope that you can take something away for your PTA today. Hi everyone and welcome to another episode of the PTA Podcast. I'm recording this in mid-November, so it's only a few weeks to go until the Christmas holidays, yikes! And at all primary schools around the country, it is the busiest time of the year, but also one of the most joyful times of the year. There are nativity plays, Christmas music concerts, Christmas jumper days, Christmas dinner at lunch time, carol concerts, church services, and there are so many opportunities for PTAs to do some amazing fundraising at those school events that I just mentioned, but also with standalone PTA events. You can pretty much organise nearly anything you want at this time of year and just put a Christmas spin on it. So I know that for most PTAs, this is one of the busiest times of the year, and the time when they can really maximize their fundraising. And with all the school activities combined with no doubt, if you're anything like me, a very busy family life as well, plus PTA organisation layered on top. It can feel both really, really exciting but also stressful in equal measure. And as you know, I have been in this position quite a few times, and I know that there are hundreds of other PTA volunteers across the country who also feel the same pressure at this time of year. So I am here with this episode to give you some support from someone who has experienced the roller coaster, which is term two, um, otherwise known as November and December in the UK. This episode is kind of in two parts depending on what you need to hear. So the first half is all about self-care and how you can look after yourself if it's all feeling a bit too much, and then towards the end, I have added a little pep talk to help keep you going and power through if that's what you need to hear. I know that some people do thrive on busyness and um being in a stressful environment, it can really keep you going, but also some people find that um too much um going on can be very overwhelming. So you may identify better with the self-care part of this episode, or you might prefer to listen to the pep talk. So just see what works for you here. I'm ultimately just trying to support you through the next few weeks or even just your next PTA event without losing your sanity because your sanity is extremely important at all times. I have talked about some of these things in my episode 28, which is a guide about how to survive your summer or winter fare planning. I talked about things you could do in the run-up to your event and also things you could do on the day itself to help yourself as well. So you might like to have a listen to that. This episode is going to be a little bit shorter, as I thought you might not have time for a long episode at the moment. So just think of this episode as like an emergency first aid kit that you can listen to as many times as you need to whenever you need some help or support or a pep talk. As I think sometimes in the PTA world, we need all three. So I'm just going to talk through some really simple things that you can do when you're feeling overwhelmed, everything's getting too much, and you're just too busy. I want you to have a go at maybe just pick one of these things to try and see if it just helps you get through that really busy, stressy period. Firstly, just breathe. Take five minutes and in a quiet space, which might even be your car, just as you're waiting to pick your child up from school, that's your quiet space right then. Just focus on breathing deeply and slowly, and don't do anything else except from focusing and being mindful on your breathing. That can really help just to give your brain and body a break from the overthinking and the rushing around and the constant to-do list that is in your head. I know that it can be really hard to switch off that to-do list, but if you try and focus on something else, that can just maybe help you just take your attention away from it for just five minutes. And um focusing on your breathing like this and breathing slowly can act like a little reset in your day. And I would encourage you to give it a go maybe over a few days and just see what sort of impact that has. You might even feel you need to do it more than once a day, probably. I think I probably did. Um, so it's just a really simple thing. Take five minutes and just focus on slowing your breathing down and just trying to reset yourself. Secondly, the thing to do is some exercise. Exercise and moving your body is a really powerful way to actually help your brain feel calmer and your body feel more relaxed. And I would encourage you to exercise outside if you can, as that can really help to blow away the stress. I find exercising outside is much more beneficial to me and makes me feel 10 times better than if I've done exercise inside. I'm not quite sure why, I'm sure there's probably lots of scientific studies about it, but even just being out in the open, breathing in the air, um, being out in a big space can help to um just clear my head a little bit. Um, so I would really encourage you to book in time as often as you can, ideally, every day if you can, to at least go for a walk. So maybe if you have a break at work, can you go for a walk during that break? Or if you've just dropped the kids at school, can you go for a walk? That's all you need to do. It doesn't have to be something really energetic and high-powered and impactful. A simple walk outside will have uh a really big impact on your day and the way you're feeling. And um, sometimes when I'm in the midst of or sort of bogged down with all these to-do lists for an event, sometimes instead of tackling something on my to-do list, I actually choose to go for a walk or maybe a run instead of doing that thing, and then I often find that I come back when I come back to my to-do list afterwards, I feel much calmer, I'm much more able to cope with what's on my to-do list. Um, and I find that's a much better way of using my time rather than struggling through a to-do list. If I just come away from it, do some exercise and reset myself and then come back to it, I'm much more productive, I feel LEDs better, I feel that things that I felt I couldn't cope with suddenly for some reason it's like it's almost like magical power, the power of exercise. Um, and if you haven't yet discovered the magical power of exercise, I would really encourage you to start. Start today just by going for a walk. Everybody can do that, and um, even if the weather is awful, still go out because sometimes the weather being awful and windy and stormy um does really help blow those cobwebs away and makes you really feel alive and just again takes your focus into a different place. Uh, I've never regretted making time to exercise, and as I said, it often just helps me reset so much better than if I I don't know, do something inside sitting down. It's a completely different um impact, really. Um, I do find I do go running. I'm the world's slowest runner, by the way. I am not built for running, but I do go running, and whilst I'm on a run, if I have a really busy head with loads of things to do in it, going on the run somehow allows my brain to kind of file away all of the thoughts that I have. And some um often when I was organising big fairs at the PTA, if I had a problem that I couldn't solve or I couldn't see my way out of the problem, if I went for a run, I would come back having a solution to that problem. And it wasn't that on the run I was constantly thinking about the problem and I kind of thought my way through it. My brain just kind of came up with a solution on its own. It's very hard to explain, but that's why I think exercise has this magical ability to really really help us. Um, so if you are struggling, and I know the last thing you want to do if you're struggling and you've got too much to do is to add something else in to your life. Um, but if you're gonna add anything else in, make it be some exercise so that your mind and body can just reset itself, you will feel 10 times better, honestly. Um, so do try and fit in some exercise. The third thing that I really want to encourage you to try is to let go of perfection. It's taken me many years to try and do this. It actually took um having three children to um help me let go of perfection in my life, and it is incredibly liberating once you do that. And um I found that trying to have things perfect all the time was actually a barrier to me, it would hold me back because I couldn't fulfil my own incredibly high expectations of myself or of the thing that I was trying to do, and sometimes the expectations I had um and the standards that I held myself to were actually um unreachably high. So having children and seeing them actually, it was when they were kind of creating art um when they were little, and they wouldn't spend ages trying to draw a dog and get it exactly right, they just drew a dog in their own interpretation. And I sort of really noticed that and I've really tried to embrace just getting something done rather than making sure it's the most amazing, best wonderful thing I've ever created. So, for example, if you have a fair and you are decorating your fair, for example, you don't have to make it look like a fair in a magazine or a fair that you've seen on Pinterest, you have to make it look like your own school's Christmas fair. That's what you need, and believe me when I say the children are not expecting perfection, the children will be happy with some tinsel and some fairy lights. Everybody will be happy with tinsel and fairy lights. That's all you need to do. You don't have to have amazing Christmas decorations and lapland and all that kind of stuff, and of course, those things would look really amazing, but you do not need them, they do not need to hold you back from getting your things done at your fair. So I just want to say that if you can let go of perfection and just get things done and move forwards, then I think you might find the pathway a bit easier. And if you can just cross a few things off and not have them perfect or how you imagined them in your head, then you'll have you might have more time at the end of your organizing, possibly to revisit those items and think, well, actually, I do have a bit more time now, perhaps I could just do this. So um, I'm not saying don't be ambitious with your fundraising, I guess I'm saying be realistic actually, and let go of perfection, let go of any preordained ideas you might have about how it's going to look, and focus on what you're actually going to deliver, and the fact that the children will love it, whatever it looks like, they're going to love it. It's their school's Christmas fair with all their friends and families, and maybe some teachers, and fun things to do, and they're gonna love it so you don't need to worry. One thing which I have always found really helpful is to have some sort of mantra that I can repeat to myself during times of crisis when organising PTA events. Um, do you remember the mantra that I like to use? You might remember if you have listened to episode 28. My mantra, which I have stolen by the way, from um I think it's the uh Marines, um, I'm not sure if it's the British Marines or the American Marines, but one of them um has this mantra, and the um mantra is adapt and overcome. And I really love this mantra, and I often murmur it to myself if I'm faced with a tricky situation, uh, not necessarily just on the PTA, but any time in my life that I'm faced with a tricky situation, and it kind of says it speaks to me a lot because adapt and overcome means that basically I can cope, I can cope with this situation. I just need to perhaps change the way I'm looking at it or change what I'm doing, and then I can overcome it and move forwards, and that's why I like this mantra so much. I think having the right mindset can really help you get through uh stressful situations and PTA uh situations, and having a little mantra to remind yourself of that can support you and ensure you don't veer off the tracks accidentally. If you can try and look at things in a different way, you can really transform how you feel about that situation, how you deal with the situation, and then how you feel about yourself afterwards as well, which is really important. Your self-esteem when you're on the PTA is is one of your secret weapons, it's very important. Remember that you often cannot change things that's kind of happening outside of you, especially you know, for example, I mean I'm thinking about school things here. So, for example, um, schools have very um strict safeguarding rules, which you cannot change, you can't just change those, you have to work with those things. So, um instead so if you take the attitude of I'm going to work with that uh rule, if you want to call it a rule, um, instead of trying to fight against it the whole time, then it means you will keep moving forwards in a less stressful way. Um, and it's good to remember that sometimes you can't change things or situations or people, but you can change how you respond to them yourself, um, which will really help you in the long run. So I would encourage you to perhaps find your own positive mantra or affirmation that you can use when you need a reminder, basically. You know, sometimes we get so bogged down in all the organising of these events that sometimes we just need to remind ourselves what's important, what can I do, how can I help myself in this situation. And if you find a really good one, then um first of all, do let me know so I can share it with other listeners. Just drop me an email, it's hello at PTApodcast.com. Uh, if you do find a really good one, you might want to make it uh a motto for your PTA. Uh, I never actually made mine the motto of my PTA, but I used to think it was the motto of my PTA because, as I've said previously, I don't think I've ever organised a PTA event that hasn't had some sort of issue or problem that's cropped up that we've had to overcome. So um uh feel free to borrow mine if you need one, but uh you might be able to come up with your own one, or you might have heard of one that you could use, and you just feel like it really speaks to you. So, uh, so my tip here is to just really try and have an open, positive mindset that will you know transform your approach to your event and the people involved, and if you come across any hurdles or um dead ends or whatever, then having a positive open mindset will allow you to breeze through those problems and uh carry on as normal. I have talked in episode 28 about a few things in more detail, but I just wanted to remind you of those things here. I won't go into as much detail here as this is supposed to be a shorter episode, but they are still very relevant points. So I'm just going to remind you of a few things that um certainly helped me anyway when I was um you know knee deep in fair organization. So the first thing is to try and spot signs in yourself that you're feeling like it's all too much before you reach that really overwhelmed stage. Now, this can take a bit of practice, but you need to sort of be self-aware that oh, I'm actually struggling to cope, I'm gonna need some help. So the first step really is to identify in yourself that you you need extra support. And then once you have done that, the next step is to tell someone. You have to tell someone because if you don't tell anyone, nobody is going to then have the opportunity to help you. Um, if you feel like you can't tell your entire PTA organizing team, that's fine. Just tell one person and um either ask them to tell the whole team, or hopefully that you know they'll be intelligent and emotionally intelligent and will realise that they need to spread the word and get some help. Um, if you're the only person on your PTA team, then tell a person, uh tell a member of staff at school where you're doing your stuff. But basically tell someone that you're finding it really tricky, you need extra support, and get somebody to help you. Um sharing is really important here, but it is your responsibility to tell someone that you're not coping. Nobody's probably going to guess, so you do have to take that on board yourself. Another thing which I recognise about myself is that when I felt a bit overwhelmed, sometimes it was just a couple of specific jobs on my PTA to-do list that were actually holding me back, and often it was the jobs that either I wasn't really sure how to do them, or I just didn't want to do them, or I didn't enjoy enjoy doing them. And I realized that if I could get rid of those particular jobs, then I would feel okay about the rest of the to-do list. So if you are stuck, truly try and identify what specifically what it is you're stuck on. See if you can pass that on to somebody else so that you can then keep moving forwards. Another strategy I deployed was to make sure that I didn't take on anything else at the time that I was feeling overwhelmed. So um I think I said in episode 28 there was a particular summer one year where I was doing sports day, a local village fate, and our big summer fate at school, and I just had so much on that anyone asking me to do anything else, I knew was just gonna tip me over the edge. So I just decided I'm just gonna say no to everything else, even if it's unfortunately like even if it's a really fun social thing with a friend, I just have to say no because even adding so anything extra on was just gonna really push me over the edge. So once I decided that I was going to say no to literally everything else, I did actually feel a bit better because I knew at that point. Point it wasn't going to get worse, and the more things then I ticked off, the pressure was just going to come down. So, personally, for me, I I um just felt that was really helpful. Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed with all my PTA stuff, um I just feel like there's just not enough time and I can't do it all. So, in that situation, sometimes I just write myself an absolutely massive list. I just think, right, I'm gonna write down all the things I need to do so I can get through them. And I would start writing this list thinking it's gonna be like 20 or 30 things, and I would start writing the list, and after about five or six things, I realised that actually there were just a couple of big things, and that was what was really holding me back. Um, and once I started writing everything down, it actually didn't seem as bad as it was in my head with it all swarming around my head like a busy beehive. But once I got it down on paper, I felt a lot better, I could clearly see what was going on. So if you can make a physical list of what you think needs to happen, I would encourage you to do that. Really gets it out of your head, um, and making a physical list also enables you to share it with other people so then you can get specific help where you need it. So that's a really positive thing to do. Something which I've always found a bit difficult is saying no, but I'm going to encourage you not to be afraid to say no and saying no to whatever you need to say no to. It could be that if you're not getting off volunteers, the thing you have to say no to is the actual event. But I am here to support you and say to you that if you don't have the resources you need to put on the event, you can say no to the event, you can change the event and make it more accommodating for what you do have, but you don't have to continually struggle on and get more and more stressed out. So it I know it takes a lot of courage to say no, and you might feel like you're letting a lot of people down. But again, remember that you have to be kind to yourself. You are a volunteer, there are plenty of other people at the school, even if they're not stepping up to help. There are other people at the school. If you feel like you can't do this event and you want to say no to it, say no, and then try and put your energy maybe into the next one instead, and maybe the next one will just be a lot better. You might get more volunteers, you just don't know. But um I would just really encourage you to be okay, try and get comfortable, I guess, with being able to say no and try and push things away from yourself if you cannot take anything else on. It's um it's really, really important. Something else I found really useful was that uh when things got too much, I realised that nobody else in the school community, really apart from my PTA team, knew what we were planning on having at our Christmas event or our summer fate, whatever big event it is you're organising. We had the sort of master plan document of what we hoped we were gonna have, but um nobody else knew that. We had we kept things extremely vague on the posters, which is a tactic I always use just in case we can't follow through, or just in case we can't get enough volunteers. So instead of putting specific stall names down, I try and put generalized things on there like crafts and games rather than specific things, just in case we can't follow through on them. Um so because nobody else knows exactly what you were hoping to do in your original plan, if your plan changes, they are gonna have no clue that the event they're coming to is smaller or um has changed and there's no games, they have no idea about that, they're just gonna turn up at the event and probably really enjoy it. Um, and and then that's gonna be fine. So don't be afraid of making adjustments to your original plan. It is not a failure to make changes to your original plan. Remember, you are adapting and overcoming. So perhaps the most important thing is that you actually run, put on an event, and if that event isn't as you originally planned with all the amazing craft stores, then that's still okay. You're still putting on an amazing event, you are fundraising for the school, you're bringing people together, you're still doing a really great thing. So don't beat yourself up if you have to make changes. It's not a failure, it's actually a success because you are adapting and you still want to run the event. So give yourself a break. Remember that that's another mantra you can say to yourself, I'm gonna give myself a break. I do not need to stress about this, it's going to be fine. And so, following on from that, I would actually work out the minimum number of stalls or things going on that I needed to have in order for the event to run. And if I could get volunteers to cover the minimum, then the event would go ahead as like a minimum event, but it's only minimum in the sense um that nobody else knows what the plans were, so it's only me and a few PTA people that know we've had to change it. So if you can work out if you've already got enough volunteers for a sort of minimum standard, then just go with that and keep it really simple. And sometimes people do appreciate things being simple, and um, you know, you might just find that families come along and actually they have more time to socialise together, which is a really lovely thing, and in fact, you know, just as valuable as having loads and loads of activities and stalls, families having just time to spend and relax at school and see their kids and their friends and stuff, you know. That's part of I think what PTAs are for is to bring people together, so um, yeah. So don't don't worry if you haven't managed to get everything ticked off. And this is one of the most important things to say is always remember that whatever you organise, the children will love it. They are the best customers, they are just brilliant for accepting things for the way they are, and they will enjoy everything that you have done. They they honestly will. They honestly will. They don't generally have fixed ideas about what something is supposed to look like or be like, so try and see your event through the eyes of the children. If you're not sure how to do that, ask your own children, see what they get excited about because that is going to tell you a lot about uh letting go of perfection of your event and letting go of a bit of the stress. And when I think about that, about what the children are going to see when they come to my events, um, it really helps to put things in perspective and it can just completely erase all the worries I have about trying to get everything perfect or everything fitting to a theme. I used to get uh very focused on my themes. I love a theme, I think it can be really helpful, but but for me personally, sometimes I went a bit far with some of them, which I fully accept. Um, but if you stop and just take a step back and see what the children are going to see, you will you will easily see that what you have done is more than enough. And at the end of the day, the fair is for the children and their families to have fun, to bring that sense of community spirit and friendship to your school, and basically always remember that what you are doing is an amazing, wonderful thing. You are donating your time and energy into organising an opportunity for your school to community to all come together socially and have some fun and raise some money, and that the money raised will benefit everybody's children at the school. It is a really wonderful, special, really magical thing for somebody to do that, and that person is you. So when your fair is running, I want you to pause, maybe set a reminder on your phone, something like that, and take time to just stop what you're doing and look around you. Look at what's happening, take it in, see the children playing games you've organized, see the parents socialising with each other, making new contacts and friends, see the smiles on people's faces, hear the laughter, see the school community all together because you made it happen. And feel proud of yourself and feel proud of your team for making it all happen. And um these things don't just happen on their own, they need people to make them happen, and you were that person, or your team were those people, and you know you can feel really proud of that. I feel proud of you. And my final tip in this emergency first aid kit is to make sure you organise a treat for yourself for after the event is all over. It can be anything that you like to do or to eat or to drink, anything at all, but give yourself a reward. Obviously, when the event um is happening, normally you probably get a bit of a high at that event because everyone will be having fun. Um, but you know, treat yourself to something after it's all over, something you can look forward to, and something that you feel is a nice reward for all the hard work that you put in because I think you really deserve it. And one last thing to say is that you could just take some downtime and listen to the PTA podcast Spotify playlist, which I talked uh all about in episode 30, where I have created a playlist of songs that I think relate to being on the PTA. Um, you're more than welcome to make some suggestions that I can add in, so just let me know on email. Um, I have had one song suggestion which I did add in. Um, all the songs on there are positive songs, upbeat songs. So if you just needed a bit of a pep in your organizing, then uh yeah, feel free to play my playlist and um make me any uh recommendations if you think of some other songs that I could include on there. And now it's time for my pep talk for you, my dear listener. This is what you need to get yourself through the next event or the next month. So take five minutes and listen in. You have got this. You are an amazing person who gives up their valuable time to make things better at your school. Without people like you, schools would not be able to give their children so many wonderful, enriching experiences. What you do matters, and what you do can directly impact children's lives. And that is why you do this volunteering. You want to make a difference and you care deeply about your school and the children in it. That is why you give your precious time and exchange it for fundraising that the school can use in many different ways, some of which can have a lasting impact for many years to come at your school. What an amazing legacy to leave and to show for all of your fundraising efforts. When the going gets tough, you do not crumble. When the going gets tough, you can adapt and overcome any challenges which come your way. The challenges are an opportunity to develop skills and make your event even better. When challenges come your way, you will problem solve the heck out of them. You are developing superpowers with every challenge and every PTA event that you are involved with. Every challenge will leave you feeling stronger and more able to cope as you bank more and more skills. You can prioritize your to-do list. You know what needs to get done, and if not, you can find out through PTA forums on Facebook or get support from your team. You've got this. Your super skills in organizing means that you are in control. Your super skills in communicating mean that you can draw your PTA team together and reach out to your parent community to make sure they have the date in their diaries. You can trust yourself that you'll get this done. You can trust yourself that you know your school. You are the expert on your school and you know what works best at your school and how to achieve it. And if you feel like you don't, by the end of this event you will know. You will grow as a person and learn so much just by trying and knowing that you are not afraid to try and have a go at something which might be out of your comfort zone. You can repeat the SAS motto, who dares wins, and you can dare just by trying something new. You know that the other PTA volunteers, wherever they may be, are a hundred percent behind you and you can support them too. You are not alone. We are here for you, and we understand how hard it can feel. We also know how elated you will feel when you see the event unfolding in front of you and how you and your team have brought the school community together in one place. No one else does that in quite the same way. Just think of all the people who are looking forward to the fundraiser you are organizing. The children will be so excited and will be talking about it to their friends in the run-up. The parents are grateful that somebody else is organising it and they will be there to support the event even if they can't volunteer themselves for whatever reason. Look at your event from their point of view, see all the activities, decorations, the excited atmosphere, people chatting and socializing, feeling relaxed, seeing the fundraising coming together and of all the fun that everyone is having. And to try and remember, this is fun for you too. This is why you volunteer, because you like doing these events and you love seeing people's reactions and sharing with the school community afterwards how much your event raised. And then the fun doesn't stop there, as later in the year you'll be able to share with people how those funds were spent and how the children have benefited. Because you need to remember all the time that your volunteering improves the lives of lots of little children who are taking their first steps into the world and you are making a difference. So, you have got this and you will get through this. You will come out the other side victorious and with a new set of skills in your possession. Then you can bask in your glory, put your feet up, and email me to tell me all about your successes. It's hello at ptapodcast.com. Come and tell me how great you were because I want to know. And that's all I wanted to say in this episode. I hope there might have been some useful tips in there from how I dealt with fundraising at this time of year. The important thing to remember is that you are doing a fantastic job and that the children will love and be excited for anything you have organised. So try to focus on them and your own well-being, and you will be fine. You will be fine, you'll get through it. Don't forget to let me know what you're organising in your PTA world. I'm always interested to hear from my listeners. And if you are listening to me in a country which is not the UK, please do drop me a line. My podcast stats tell me I have listeners in a few different countries, which I would love to believe is true, but I'm wondering if they're actually bots. I don't know. I don't actually know. So if you are listening in a different country, please let me know. Um, I'd love to hear from you. So my email is hello at ptapodcast.com, or you can just use the contact me form on my website. If you want to be alerted when I've released a new episode, then you can subscribe to my podcast on Apple or Spotify Podcasts, or you can sign up to my mailing list on my website which is PTApodcast.com. Thank you so much for listening, and I sincerely wish you all the best for your Christmas fundraisers. So until next time, bye for now.